Funny Things to Say to a Dentist
44 of the Best Dentist Jokes & Dental Memes to Hit The World!
Brace yourself! Whoever said dentistry was boring? Think again. Here you'll find 44 of the funniest dentist jokes you've ever heard, that are bound to tickle your fillings
Below are 44 of the best dentist jokes that are sure to make you laugh out loud. As we all know, visiting the dentist isn't always the most fun experience, in fact, it can be quite the opposite. Not to worry, these jokes are sure to give you a sweet tooth. So, sit back, relax and enjoy.
Just to start off the article, here's a foreword from John who recently passed dentistry school:
- When is the best time for a dentist appointment? Tooth hurty.
- What did the dentist say to Tiger Woods? "You have a hole in one. "
- What do you call a dentist that doesn't like tea? Denis
- Patient : How much will it cost me to have this tooth pulled out? Dentist: £500 Patient : £500 for just a few minutes work? That's hardly cheap. Dentist : No worries, I'll pull it out slowly if you prefer.
- Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused to have an anaesthetic injection when he was going for a filling? Apparently, he wanted to transcend dental medication.
Your sexy clothes vs my sexy clothes:
- What does the dentist of the year get? A little plaque.
- Dentist begging the patient: Could you help me, please? Scream as loud and painfully as you possibly can?
Patient: Umm, why? It's not hurt me this time.
Dentist: Because there are tonnes of patients in the waiting room right now and I don't want to miss the cup final at 3!
- Why did the dentist make a poor date with the manicurist? Because they fought both tooth and nail!
- Knock, knock. Who's there? Dishes. Dishes, who? Dishes how I talk since I lost my teeth!
- What's a dentist's favourite emote to use when they play Fortnite? The floss.
Brace yourselves guys:
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- Dentist: Do you floss?
Patient: Religiously
Dentist: Really?
Patient: Of course. Christmas & Easter!
- What's the difference between American and British dentists? British dentists tend to be more careful with their patients whereas American dentists tend to yank teeth.
- Patient: What did you do before you became a dentist?
Dentist: I was in the Army.
Patient: What did you do in the Army?
Dentist: I was a drill sergeant.
- Why did the yellow tooth not find the white tooth's jokes funny? Because he was already dead inside.
- What did the 90 year old say to his great-grandson? I miss the days of being your age when my teeth were in my mouth 24/7!
It's all about saving the planet these days. We need to look after our environment.
- What was the tooth called who went to Oxford University? The Wisdom Tooth.
- Have you seen Eddie recently? He's been so moody! Ah yeah, don't worry about him he always seems to have a chip on his shoulder these days.
- What do dentists call their x-rays? Tooth pics.
- What did Ash Ketchum say to his tooth when he pulled it out? I Chews You!
- What's a dentist's favourite dinosaur? A Flossiraptor
Even Voldemort loves showing off his new veneers:
- My wife who was a dentist passed away. I've loved and I've flossed.
- When did the dentist become a brain surgeon? When he dropped the drill.
- So my friend told me I'm crazy for investing all my money into a business that offers a boxing gym, a dentist, and a manicurist all under one roof. I told him I'm going to fight tooth and nail for it. Now if only I could just think of a clever name for it, I'd be all set.
- "Open wider." requested the dentist, as he began his examination of the patient.
"Good God!" he said startled. "You've got the biggest cavity I've ever seen, the biggest cavity I've ever seen." "Okay Doc!" replied the patient, "I'm scared enough without you saying something like that twice." "I didn't!" said the dentist. "That was the echo."
- What did the dentist see at the North Pole? A molar bear.
That face you make when your dentist asks you to open wide:
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- Johnny was sitting in the waiting room after getting his tooth extracted. The receptionist asked him how he was feeling. "I'm okay" he said, "but I didn't like the four-letter-word the doctor used during the extraction." "What did he say?", asked the nurse, alarmed. "Oops!", replied Johnny.
- Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
- What sort of an act do you do? I bend over backwards and pick up a handkerchief with my teeth.
Anything else?
Then I bend over backwards and pick up my teeth.
- A man coughed violently, and his false teeth shot across the room and smashed against the wall. "Oh, dear," he said, "whatever shall I do? I can't afford a new set."
"Don't worry," said his friend. "I'll get a pair from my brother for you."
The next day the friend came back with the teeth, which fitted perfectly.
"This is wonderful," said the man. "Your brother must be a very good dentist."
"Oh, he's not a dentist," replied the friend, "he's an undertaker."
- While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, "Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and understanding too." When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, "Oh, that was just my Mother."
Rumour has it The Weeknd is a fan of going to the dentist too:
- Young girl: "Daddy, when I grow up shall I become a heart-doctor or a tooth-doctor "
"Dentist"
"Why father?"
"We have only one heart, but 32 teeth!"
- Why did the deer need braces?
He had buck teeth.
- Patient: Doctor, if I give up candy, pizza, popcorn and gum, will my braces come off sooner?
Dentist: Not really. It will just seem longer.
- When a new dentist set up in a small town he quickly acquired a reputation of being the latest kind of "Painless" dentist. But a local lad quickly disputed this. "He's a fake! " he told his mates. "He's not painless at all. When he stuck his finger in my mouth I bit him – and he yelled like anyone else."
- What to do you call an old dentist?
A bit long in the tooth.
Moral of the story; give good gifts at Halloween.
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- While I was waiting to see the dentist, a woman came out of his inner office smiling. Nodding to me, she said, "Thank goodness my work is completed. I'm so glad to have found a painless dentist and one who's so gentle and understanding too." When seated in the dentist chair, I related the incident to the doctor. He laughed and explained, "Oh, that was just my Mother."
- Fred's mother was on the telephone to the boy's dentist. "I don't understand it," she complained, "I thought his treatment would only cost me $20, but you've charged me $80." "It is usually $20, ma'am," agreed the dentist, "but Fred yelled so loudly that three of my other patients ran away!"
- How many dentists does it take to change a light bulb?
Three. One to administer the anaesthetic, one to extract the light bulb, and one to offer the socket some vile pink mouthwash.
- Patient to Dentist: "How much to get my teeth straightened?"
"Twenty thousand pounds" says the Dentist. The Patient heads for the door.
Dentist to patient: "Where are you going?"
"To a plastic surgeon to get my mouth bent."
- A patient asked the dentist if it wasn't nasty to spend the day with the hands in someone's mouth.
The dentist answered "I just think of it as having my hands in their wallet."
Dentists aren't that bad after all…
- A book never written: "I Have a Toothache" by Phil McCavity.
- On Monday I said to my boss, "I've a dentist's appointment this afternoon. Can I leave at two and make up the time later in the week?"
"Yeah, that's no problem," he said.
On Friday he came up to me and said, "What's this? You've put on your timesheet that you finished at 5 o'clock on Monday."
I replied, "Yeah I know. I told you I'd make the time up."
- I've no idea why people hate going to the dentist so much. In my opinion, it can be very refilling.
- I went on a date with a dentist last night.
At the end of the date, she said she'd had a great time and she'd like to see me again in 6 month's time. It ended up costing me an absolute fortune aswell!
If you enjoyed our jokes and memes, why not check out Toothonomics? A social media page that posts all sorts of cool art, jokes and memes related to dentistry.
Furthermore, you may wish to read our article which provides an exclusive insight into 15 dental marketing strategies.
Source: https://www.thecreativecomposite.co.uk/44-of-the-best-dentist-jokes/
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